Lust, Love, and Healing
by glindalupin
Summary: Second Season. Mac and Danny reconciliate in a round of risen tempers and passion. Rated M for smut and language. MacDanny, who belong to CSI NY. Edited to fix a storyline error in first edition.


A/N Okay, go easy on me: this is my first published smut fic. I blame it on my friend who told me to go ahead and write it, so I did in the middle of my psych class. It actually came out the way I liked it, so I am quite pleased with it. It's MacDanny, as usual, both of whom belong the the CSI NY people, otherwise they'd be doing this in every episode. Be on the look out for wild tempers and rough sex, and enjoy! EDIT: I fixed the fact that it is farther after the Season One Finale, so that the new girl is here.

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A sigh emanated from the last row of lockers in the dusty and poorly light room, exhausted and defeated as it diminished into silence. A bang followed it, pent-up frustration taken out on the locker door. Danny slumped to the bench, shaking away the new pain in his hand. The pain was ebbing away from his digits, but it was replaced by a sharp older pain in his heart, left there by the only one who held Danny's heart in his hands, therefore having the power to crush it in a disapproving and disappointed gaze. 

_"Are we okay?"_

_Hesitation found its way upon Mac's face. "We'll see…"_

"God DAMN it!" The incident was long gone, but Danny hated himself for creating the situation in the first place, shooting a cop, acting stupid afterwards, and worse, acting too hopeful only two weeks after the incident for his boss's trust. He hated himself even more for being mad at Mac. _It isn't your fault… but damn it Mac! You have no idea the power you have over me… It's bad enough to let you down, but to be wrapped around your finger like a lovesick teenager? I could kick myself for letting myself become that vulnerable…_

A calculated cough interrupted his thoughts. Danny's head snapped up, drawn to the sound of the intruder of his pensive thoughts.

"Mac? Why are you still here?" Mac stole a piece of bench, sliding close to the younger man, setting off alarms in Danny's mind. He chose to ignore the bells, focusing on his boss's eyes.

The eyes closed slowly, as a hand snaked up to rub the weariness that managed to always maintain a steady residence in them. "Danny, we need to talk…"

_Oh shit…_

Danny's shoulders tensed up as he inhaled sharply. He opened his mouth to say something when Mac silenced him with one of those looks, eyebrows raised and a grim smile. "Not about the Minhaus shooting. You've had enough of that from me, I think." Danny chuckled darkly, looking away in irritation. Mac felt heat rise in his cheeks in similar annoyance. "Look, I'm sorry about that, I really am, but you _did_ screw up."

Danny rounded on him, glaring into the green depths of Mac's eyes. "Yeah, I know! I'm just a fuck up, right? Danny the fuck up? Has a nice ring to it…" He shut up, quietly seething in the fierce intensity of Mac's surprise.

Mac swallowed and tore his eyes away from Danny, ashamed slightly. "Danny… I didn't mean that." Another scoff from his employee caused Mac's anger to flare again to a risky point of explosion. "Look, Messer! I didn't stay yet another late night to reprimand you! I have better things to do, believe me." Danny flinched as if physically hit. Mac groaned at his stupid temper. "Damn it, I'm just making things worse." He inhaled quickly, trying to assess an easier way of phrasing his question without damaging Danny further. "Danny… I just want to know if there is anything, _anything_ at all that is bothering you. I… saw the psych eval, and it said there was a faint anxiety stirring besides the shooting. And I got to thinking that it does seem to make sense. You're losing weight, you don't hang out with Flack after work, you work to the point of collapsing, and you clam up at all of our attempts to comfort you. We have your back, you know."

_Damn you, Flack…_ As angry as Danny was, he felt a blush creep up on his face, a look he hid, standing up to face the window, trying to avoid Mac's notice. _Maybe he does want us to be okay, after all. But Messer, snap out of it. It doesn't mean anything else…_ He throatily whispered to Mac, "Nothing, boss. It's all good."

Mac pursed his lips in frustration. "Okay then." He paused, opening his locker, shifting to plan B. He began to change into his normal clothing, and presuming that with his discovery from a very angry Aiden, Danny would be interested to see.

_"Damn it, Mac! Can't you see what you're doing to Danny?"_

_"I know exactly what I'm doing; I'm doing what any sensible boss would do: reproach and move on."_

_Aiden glared and spat heatedly, "You can be such an ass, sometimes. You have no idea that Danny yearns for your approval. He fucking loves you, you prick."_

Mac had been shocked, of course, trying to shake off what Aiden said as love among friends. Mac had other things to worry about from her, firing her days later for what she nearly did to the lab's integrity. But Mac found himself thinking back to what she said. She was right. Danny hung from a thin thread that Mac dangled, poised to snap at the command of his disapproval. And snap it did, an action that held repercussions for them both. Mac watched in agony as his protégé's heart withered in front of him at his clipped tone, given away by the look of sad defeat upon Danny's face.

Mac knew he'd have to come to terms with himself before approaching Danny. A few late night discussions with Stella coaxed out an unknown equal desire in Mac, which Stella logically explained as the reason it hurt Mac so much when Danny messed up. As much as it exhilarated him to realize he was in love, it frightened him that Danny may be too far gone to want to act upon it ever again.

So here Mac was, weaseling the truth out with a striptease. _I'm getting too old for this shit. Just take the bait, so I can stop feeling like a cheap whore._

Thank God for horny angst because hook, line, and sinker. Danny's eyes widened at the sound of rustling clothing and slacks falling to the floor. He wrestled with the urge to turn and sneak a peek, condemning his sexual desires for such a thought. But every sound of Mac changing resonated loudly in his ears. He had to grasp for the locker to steady himself. _Okay, okay. Just calm down. Inhale, exhale. If you're so disgusting as to want to look at Mac, just give him an honest answer. Ha… honesty for lechery._

Danny slowly turned, glad that Mac was focused on zipping his pants to not see Danny's hungry sweep of Mac, top to bottom. "Mac?" He gulped and floundered for any coherent thought as he finally took in what he was seeing. Mac was zipping up a pair of faded jeans, shirtless and reaching for a muscle tee. Danny raised an eyebrow, finding his voice in a familiar outlet: sarcasm. "Jeans, boss?"

Mac ignored the remark, pulling on the shirt with finesse. "I believe you were about to say something that had nothing to do with my outfit. So spill it, Messer."

Danny had to mentally slap himself to keep his eyes from basking in the sculpted arms and pectorals filling out the shirt nicely. "I… uh…" _Oh fuck, am I going to really tell him?_ Danny once again seated himself on the all too familiar bench. "Oh it's stupid, Mac." Mac gave him a _try-me_ look and sat beside Danny. "Mac, I just have some romance issues, that's all."

Mac laughed, instantly regretting his outburst of confirmation at his earlier assessment. "Oh, I didn't mean…" Danny got up, hurt oozing openly like a wound. "Oh shit, I think I'm the fuck up. Danny… we all have romance issues. You're looking at the king of intimacy problems. Like I said, _I'm_ the fuck up, not you."

Danny didn't know how to respond, choosing to remain Messer all the way, jumping to conclusions. "Really, Mac? From the looks of it, you got a date. That doesn't scream 'intimacy issues' to me. Jeans? Tight tee? Must be someone special to get you into something as uncharacteristic as that…"

Mac slammed his locker shut aggressively, quieting Danny quickly. Mac breathed shallowly, decisively, realizing that shutting the locker also meant shutting the past. He bitterly whispered to Danny, running his hands nervously through his hair. "Yeah, it is someone special." Danny smiled sadly.

"It's you, you dumbshit."

Mac released all of his anger right then, pouncing towards Danny, fiercely claiming his lips in a demanding kiss. Lust, ferocity, struggle for power all battled in the lip lock, until Danny moaned into the kiss.

Love. With that moan, the kiss became a testament of love, sweeping into a gentle probe of shattered securities. Mac brought his hand up to caress Danny's cheek. He pulled away softly to speak. "I've been doing a bit of _investigating_ about you… me… you _and _me. I just had to know if the evidence spoke for itself. And, it does…"

Danny chose to leave his ambiguity alone for now, grasping for Mac literally and metaphorically. Mac felt the touch, knowing Danny needed to be put back together again, knowing that what he was about to let Danny do was only part of the healing process.

Danny had to take him, claim him, make him beg. Danny needed to gain back power from Mac, after it had been stolen away by the lack of trust. Danny needed to dominate again, after weeks of being a timid recluse.

Mac needed it just as much. He wanted to make some of the guilt go away after cruelly slamming the door on Danny's heart. He also lusted after being submissive for once in his goddamn, be-the-leader-for-us-Mac life. He needed to be used.

Clothes were discarded quickly, testament to the pervasive desire in the room, considering the calculated effort it took to put them on. Danny lapped up the sights: Mac leaning him into the lockers, very naked and very anxious to touch everything on Danny's body. Danny let a moan escape his lips when the older man began to swirl his tongue around his collarbone, tasting the newly formed sweat. Danny felt his heart swell when he realized this was actually happening, he was _actually_ with Mac. But in his heart's flight, his brain turned off autopilot. "What if someone walks in?"

Mac grinned impishly, not removing his hands from ravaging Danny's chest and stomach with feathery caresses. "Sent them home and locked the door."

"Even Stella?"

The grin returned. "Stella knows…" Danny's mind raced at the idea of Mac confessing his love for Danny to the Greek woman. His mind returned to the situation at hand when Mac returned to licking his neck.

But then, Mac began to search for a better prize, hands slipping to Danny's waist and below. A guttural sound rumbled in Danny's throat when callused fingers touched his member. "Oh _fuck…"_

Mac built up a rhythm, pumping Danny as he eased himself into another kiss. He frowned when he noticed how tense Danny was, until it hit him._ This isn't what we wanted…_ Danny wasn't in control, bucking into Mac's hand wildly, pinned under Mac and _still_ without any power. "Mac, I-I'm gonna…"

But Mac did the right thing at that moment, knowing it would piss Danny off enough to take what he wanted. He let go of Danny. "Damnit, Mac!" Mac grinned, pleased at how well he knew his Danny. _His Danny…_ he ruminated.

Just then, Mac was snapped out of it when he was slammed roughly into the locker wall by an infuriated Danny. Danny possessively began to nibble on Mac's neck, and grinding into Mac roughly. Mac gasped when he felt the below-waist contact, panting and clutching at Danny's back. Danny looked up from his feast, and the two stared at one another, forming a truce in their desires silently.

Danny croaked, groin throbbing, "Mac, are you sure about this? I… I don't want to hurt you…"

Mac kissed him tenderly and wrapped his arms around Danny's neck, allowing him access to Danny's ear. He whispered, "Danny, I've never been more sure about anything else… you need to do this… _I _need you to do this…"

Danny was still hesitant, until Mac ground his hips against Danny's, sending an electrical jolt through the younger man's body. "Fuck, Messer, MOVE!" Danny couldn't help feeling Mac was still the one with control. _Not for long._

He flipped Mac around to face the lockers. "Umm… should I do anything before…?" Mac shook his head fiercely, trying to make Danny realize he couldn't wait any longer to see if he could still feel pain and wasn't the numb ice bitch he was so often called at work. Danny scooted Mac's legs apart with his feet as Mac grasped for a handhold in the lockers, bracing himself.

Danny thrust slowly into Mac, squirming at the new sensation enveloped around his member. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Mac's fingers wrapping around the holes in the locker, tightening until the knuckles turned white. He looked down at Mac and saw Mac's face tightened and scrunched up, eyes closed, breath held. Danny stopped for fear of hurting his boss. The eyes snapped open as Mac tilted his head back to Danny's. "Just fuck me, Messer! That's an order!"

"Yessir!" Danny didn't need any further invitation, beginning to rock quicker into Mac, reaching his hand around to Mac's quivering member, grasping it and matching thrust for thrust. The contrast of cool metal and hot flesh further excited Danny, as he began to pump aggressively.

Mac yelped and sought Danny's other hand blindly, clenching it tightly with one hand as the other sought for another support. Anything to keep him from bucking wildly and losing it in the pressure that was building fast. Sweat broke out onto his chest as Danny began to lick his neck, making Mac unconsciously thrust into the hand around his member. Danny's tongue prowled new territory, in search of that tantalizing taste that was Mac's. Mac was experiencing sensory overload, the residue sending jolts through his groin, nearing him to the edge. "Oh… God…. Ohhh my God…"

Danny breathed in sex and frustration, making his mind reel as nature's aphrodisiacs often do. _Too… too much… oh fuck…_ Danny bit into Mac's neck, not caring about the mark Mac would have to cover for days to come, as he was releasing wildly into Mac. The sensation caused Mac to follow quickly, jerking his hips as he created a mess on Danny's hands and the locker.

They both slumped to the floor, Danny easing himself from behind Mac to sit beside him, leaning against the sticky mess they created on the locker. Danny began to laugh. "Oh shit, that was Montana's locker we just…"

Mac laughed with him, turning to kiss Danny, ignoring the pain the movement created in his backside. He'd be walking funny for a while, but none of that mattered as he wrapped his heart around Danny, kissing him passionately and tenderly. He spoke into the kiss, grinning, "Well, aren't we lucky we work at CSI. There couldn't be any two people who know how to remove evidence any better." A smile. "Now let's hit the showers."

"Yessir…" Danny growled, standing up to offer a hand to his boss, who accepted. "Now will you be joining me in this shower?" His eyes glinted playfully.

Mac rolled his eyes amusedly. "Isn't once enough for one night? Don't forget that I'm older than you and not as spry." Danny pouted. "Or horny, for that matter."

Danny laughed heartily, a sound that twinkled in the darkness, a sound that lifted the hearts of two men that recently had nothing to hope for. Danny enveloped his arms around Mac, purring ferociously, "I think I can make you change your mind." His arms loosened as Danny dropped his head onto Mac's sweat-stained chest, forgetting his hormone driven endeavors. "Hey, Mac?"

Mac brushed his hands against Danny's neck, twirling his fingers around the blonde hair, listening tentatively for Danny to finalize what he needed to heal his bruised heart. "What's up, Danny?"

Danny looked up, still wrapped around Mac like a child at night with their teddy bear. Danny managed to choke out a whisper in the gloom. "Thank you…"

Mac sighed happily, knowing things were indeed healing between them and inside of them. One hand cupped Danny's cheek, lifting it upwards, allowing Mac to close the gap between them forever with a sweet kiss.

_You're welcome…_

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A/N Wow, what did you think? You made it down here, so I assume you read it! So how was it? I'm always looking for constructive criticism, and as this is my first published smutfic, I would really appreciate it! 


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